Insomnia

I suffer from insomnia. It sucks. I can not turn my brain off and I lay in bed for hours willing myself to sleep. One would think that with the amount of hours I work I would just come home and fall right asleep, but I don't and I can't. Add any amount of stress to my day and I know I am headed for a sleepless night.

My beloved on the other hand can fall asleep on the way to the grocery store. Wouldn't it be nice. He feels awful when I can not sleep and is the first to offer up a nap. A Nap - I can't take those either. So now I have the stress of not sleeping and the inability to take a nap.

He tells me to read a book. I love books and when not working two jobs I can read a book a day. Does not work. I stay awake to finish the book.

How about a warm shower. Does not work either because then my hair gets wet and I can not handle wet hair. - I know I am such a pain in the A$$.

Hot tea? That does not work either.

Run on the treadmill.... Nope.

I have tried everything. I just want to sleep. I sit here in my office and I could fall asleep at any moment, but the minute I go home - bam...wide awake.

For now I'll just hope that the sleep comes soon.

My Lead Foot

They said it would happen...I refused to beleive them.....but, it happened..... my first speeding ticket.

Yes that was me pulled over on the side of a major highway last night. The State Trooper was not in a very good mood....

I was on a major highway. I was in the slow lane. Typically the slow lane does about 80mph. The posted speed limit is 65mph. The Trooper claims I "Blew by her" at 85 MPH, ummmm I think not.

First of all, I was in the slow lane and I was blowing by no one. Secondly, while I will admit to doing 80, I was not doing 85, Third, $200 what the hell for? Who gets this friggin money?

Let me set the scene..... Blue lights come on, I pull over, The trooper comes to my passenger window and asks for my license and registration. She accuses me of not wearing a seatbelt. I tell her I needed to undo my seatbelt to reach the glove compartment (I am only 5 feet tall). She asks for my license. I tell her it is in the trunk of my car. She goes ballistic.

SIDE NOTE - Hey jerky, my wallet is in my trunk because I work two jobs and I cannot take my purse into my second job. I can't leave my purse in the car either because my co worker had his window smashed out two days ago - hence why I store it in my trunk. If you took a moment to ask me you would have understood why it was in the trunk.

She takes my registration back to her car. I wait and I wait. I have a clean record, what could she be doing back there? She finally comes back and lets me know that she could have given me a ticket for no seatbelt (Duh, I was wearing it) and no license (duh, it was in the trunk), but she is just giving me a citation for speed. Oh, and I should be careful pulling back into traffic.

No Shit, they are doing 80 in the slow lane!

One good thing - I can pay online so my husband can frame this ticket for all to see.

Bad Managers

So, I look at the schedule of my "Other" job and see that I am closing with the one manager I cannot stand. I mean I really do not like her. She is the most ineffective manager I have ever encountered in my years of working and I have had some bad managers. I have let the General Manager and his Assistant Manager know that I think she is the worst and what do they do.....they schedule us to close together.

She and I..... alone......closing the store....I think not. I did what any respectable employee would do. I called in sick.

Broken Hearts

How many times can your heart be broken before it can no longer be repaired?

Can one survive with a broken heart?

Two Months

A very nice person reminded me that it is two months to my birthday today.

I hate birthdays.

Despite all the dreams I had for myself growing up they never included me getting older. I guess when I pictured myself in a great job, doing what I loved or married with a big house and yard I always saw myself as young. And now.... I'm about to cross that young line. I can no longer say, "Hey, I'm under 35" Now....People have started to say to me, "Hey, your almost 40" or my personal favorite, "Life began at 40 for me...only a few more years until your life begins." I think that is a crock of sh*t. My life has already begun....

I suppose I now have the next two months to wallow in self pity.

What I should do is throw myself a huge birthday party and celebrate. I should celebrate that I am fortunate enough to have an amazing husband, cute and funny animals, great friends, etc.etc. We should have expensive food and a fountain of Cosmopolitans. I should celebrate that this is where I am in my life. I should celebrate that I am aging.....

Working From Home

"I need to work from home today." Why does this phrase terrify me and send me into a fit of guilt?

I needed to work from home today for a number of reasons and I feel so guilty, why? I work really hard at work when I am there and I really could use the quiet time to actually get some work done. Yet, I still feel guilty. I sit here in my home office/bedroom surrounded by my desktop, laptop, cell phone and landline phone terrified that someone would think that I am not working enough at home. I have become extra vigilant at answering my e-mails and calls, hyper sensitive that someone will roll their eyes when they say, "Oh, she is working at home today." Maybe because that is what I do when someone tells me "Joe" is working at home.

Wouldn't it be nice if I could be carefree and not feel the guilt of not being there in the office. How do others do it? We all know the office slacker..... He or she is always having childcare issues or household/car issues and is at home doing their work; are they really? Do you too picture them at home watching Ellen Degenres, eating ice cream, laughing at those of us at work?

All I know is that I am working hard and that my dog, who is snuggled up at my feet, really appreciates that I am spending the day with him.....

Stupid People

Is it just me or are there more stupid people in this world today than ever before? Look around you, I'm sure you can see one standing or sitting close by to you at this very minute. I work with many stupid people at my "other" job. It's retail people, not rocket science.

Here is just one example of the stupidity of my "Co-workers". At the end of the night there is a checklist of things that needs to get done. I wrote it, I know what is on it. You, my stupid co-worker, are responsible for doing what is on that checklist while I do my work. My job is to check and make sure you do your job after I complete my job. If the checklist says to take the hangers out back, sort them and neatly put them away, then do it that way. Do you really think I won't notice that you just wheeled a seven foot hanger tower to the back of the store and walked away from it? If you knew I would see it, did you think I would say good enough. How hard is it to move one bar of hangers from the tower to the holding area? (Let me tell you - NOT HARD)

Why, my stupid co-worker, would you then be mad at me for telling you you could not leave until the job got done? If you needed to leave you should have done the job right the first time. We have been doing this every night since September 1, it is not a new task. Please do not huff at me, I hear you. If you think this job is too difficult or beneath you, then wait until your next job assignment from me. How does a trash run in 5 degree temperature work for you?

I'll say it again, it's retail not rocket science......