I'm Getting Old

I come from a large family...when I tell people how many brothers and sisters I have they always look at me with a slightly tilted head and a smirk, like they have never heard of large families before or that my parents were just plain crazy.... Well, many years ago my sister (oldest) heard us discussing Motley Crew and told us she "Did not watch that show". My brothers and I laughed hysterically for hours at this comment, it still makes me laugh today. But......I now find myself in the same boat. I have been exposed to MySpace and I now feel like my sister did when we discussed Motley Crew.

What the hell is with this MySpace? What the hell are these kids posting? Do they know other people can see these pages? Do I really want to see my nieces picture with some random guy grabbing her boob? How about seeing my 16 year old neighbor declaring himself a swinger....I know him and I know what a swinger is...he is not one. I leave my house keys with this kid?

I am starting to feel old...OK, so I started to feel old when my dear friend announced she was having a baby. She is 5 years younger than me. I immediately dyed my hair brown and started $150/wk microdermabrasion treatments. (I know...I can't afford the microdermabrasion...I need to stop, this week is my last appointment) I have bought more wrinkle cream in the past three months than I could ever use or want and yet, none of these seems to make time slow down.

My friends baby is due in 8 weeks, my nieces MySpace page is now updated to reflect her latest party pictures, my nieces just turned two, my birthday is creeping up on me. I know I should celebrate these momentous occasions and milestones, but they paralyze me with fear. When am I going to accomplish everything I want to? When am I going to find a career that fulfills me? Why am I now the person who says, "I don't watch that show"? When will I accept that this is my life and I need to deal with it?

Random Thoughts

It's been a while since I blogged...why you may ask? Well, my blog was really personal and I wondered if I wanted this stuff out there. Is it cool to put your hopes and dreams, fears and disappointments on a web page? I guess my other option was more therapy... blogging seemed less work, so I'm back.

Random thought #1 - Peyton Manning. Why do I feel such genuine disgust for someone I have never met. From every account I read he is a nice guy......Where does this disgust come from?

Random thought #2 - Blasts from the past - talking to people from your past definitely helps put your life in perspective. It helps to say your sorry to people you have hurt.

Random thought #3 - I have been incredibly tired lately....maybe working 80+ hours a week is finally catching up to me.

Random thought #4 - Cosmopolitans - my favorite...maybe 6 is too many...believe it or not I only drink once a month, if that, but when I do I go full force.

Random thought #5 - XM or Sirius..that is the question I now face. What is the answer?